Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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