Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
