I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
