all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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