sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
