fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
