He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
