I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
being pregnant is like rehab
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
