Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
