I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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