how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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