What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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