They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
