i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm both gender and math confused
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
