his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
smell my finger.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
God, I missed his penis.
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