So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
This house was built for laser tag.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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