I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
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