We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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