Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
