my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
