Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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