omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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