the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
my poor anus
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I would fuck him just for his dog
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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