I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize