He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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