It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
