The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
