i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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