I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
