people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
