if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
