Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
