If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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