Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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