I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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