You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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