he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
