Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry starwarsummergrl hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.

Fav 8 4443 935
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

Fav 45 1818 5370
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them

Fav 14 2803 6822
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?

Fav 8 5023 1369
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country

Fav 9 5631 1237
share tweet
(705): View more from Ontario

APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...

Fav 5 3995 1273
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"

Fav 7 7344 1431
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(713): View more from Texas

It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.

Fav 6 1078 690
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom

Fav 0 10 26
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT