Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
