Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
