right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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