i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
