i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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