but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
