Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
