Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
