the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
