I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
