I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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