The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
third nipple confirmed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
